Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Surrending my Fears to The Lord

John 12:26
"If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor."
Serving God means obeying Him and following Him wherever He may take me. Its being sensitive to hearing His Holy Spirit guiding my every step. Serving the Lord means serving others as well.
In April I will be going to the Blackfeet Indian Reservation in Montana for 6 months. I am so blessed to be able to have the oppurtunity to go there and serve the people there. I will be honest though, it was a big struggle for me to give up a year of my life to lay aside what my flesh wants and to serve the Lord through serving others. Being 27 years old, I feel like I have already lost so much of my life and I had a plan laid out for how I wanted my life to go. I wanted to be married and have a family before the age of 30, and thats all I could think of when I was given the oppurtunity to come to IGNITE. I had to learn to surrender all the Him and like the verse says, If i really want to serve Him, I must follow Him wherever He leads me. Not only did I have multiple other believers who felt in thier hearts that this was the place for me but I prayed about it myself as well and felt that tug in my own heart that this is where I needed to be. I chose to give up my fleshly desires and to follow Him here, and since doing this I have been so blessed. Dying to self. Thats what I needed to do, and continue to do every single day. Its a constant struggle though, and the enemy loves to try to swoop in and tell me of all my weaknesses and tell me I am not able to do this. I recently wrote a poem about this spiritual battle, Here it is :

Lately I feel like the demonic forces of my past are surrounding me and filling my head, although the voices arent prevalent anymore I can still hear every word they said,
the darkness creeps up on me and little by little my light is becoming dim,
trying to persuade me to yet again become a slave that was controlled by sin,
Telling me You are not fit for this - your physical body is destroyed and weak,
There is no hope for this better life and future that you so desperatley seek,
Just face Shannon it youve done too much damage to yourself as a whole,
Your worthless - theres no way you could ever be used to help save anothers soul,
Theres nothing you can say or do to anyone that will ever be worth anything,
These things they say as they laugh and continue to fill me with the darkness they bring,
My heart beats faster and faster and theres a pressure weighing down on my chest,
Feeling defeated tears roll down my face as I struggle to find comfort and rest,
Backed into a corner on my knees again I cry out to the Lord to silence these voices,
Help me Lord Jesus to just shut them out and not make the same horrible choices,
Help me to know that in You I have worth and all I need to do is have faith and believe,
You are my daughter and I love you, He says to me , Everythings okay Shannon just breathe,
You are worth more than a precious jewel and you are so beautiful in My sight,
Just remember that this battle is not only yours alone for I am here to help you fight,
And then suddenly I can feel peace and joy wash over me and my mind is clear,
As I am able to realize that because I have Him there is no reason for me to fear,
Thank you Lord Jesus for saving me from the darkness that tries to bring me pain and strife,
Lord continue to guide me and help me follow and obey Your perfect plan and will for my life.
Application :

Today I will surrender my worries and fears to the Lord. I will stop and pray in the moment throughout the day any time the enemy tries to put those fears into my mind, and give them up to the Lord.

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